Wednesday, 25 July 2018

My Keke Diaries : Champions of Excuse.

5 days ago, I saw what I believe is the reason why we are where we are, we're champions in making excuses.
It happened at Hausa Quarter, A place synonymous with holdup/traffic jam.

It was a debilitating traffic jam, moving at snail speed. It took 15 minutes to get to Hausa quarter from Garage and when we got there, the cause of the hold up, was two fighting.

Not really two fighting, one was calm as cucumber the other shouting at the top of his voice, with the veins on his neck stretching to elastic limits whenever car lights from angry drivers honking shines on both of them.

It was the Zitu Clothing logo that glittered in the dark, that first caught my attention. He was wearing a simple dark sleeveless hoodie, with the Zitu brand logo emblazoned on the left breast and a black kneel length short with the same sparkling logo at the left kneel.

He was holding a black bag with his left hand, phone on his right hand, and in the midst of the tantrums and ramblings from his antagonist, he was still cool like Donald Duke maybe all those who wear @ZituClothing are cool like the brand.

And then the rider broke my thoughts and the conversation started.

Rider : "AY na you, mtcheeew, rubbish"

Middle Passenger (Lady in mid 30s) : "AY?"

Rider : "E name na Ayo, so because of he 
nonsense and funny behavior, we jus change-am to AY,"

Right Passenger (Mama, in early 60s)  : "I for fear"

I was at the extreme left with this two ladies coming from Makaiva Market, the scent from their bag and body, told me that they're both fishmongers.

Still looking at the scene, this time, AY is being dragged to his tiny farm bus. The guy holding him, was able to get him there, and caught him some slack.

AY : "No way, (he slammed the door of his bus) dis guy must fix my side mirror"

Rider : "Na excuse AY, don dey find again, e nor ready to work, any small thing, he don park, e motor and begin wahala, Passenger wait tire, passengers gbese (run) finish without paying."

"And na so e like to drag mata, argue, tear him shirt, at the end of the day put story from Egypt to Jericho, many time for mata wey nor concernam or reach anything"

Me : " Bros, be like say you know dis guy ooO?"

Rider : "AY? We grow up together, I dey stay dsame compound with hin senior brother, wey buy dis bus 8 hundred and seventi tarsand for him, e family dey try foram, bet e nor wan help himself, d #Keke wen hin senior Sista buy for am, wen Keke jux come out, na so e judge from here to there, one thing do two thing."

Middle Passenger : "unserious people like dis still dey dis life wey, Buhari don make water pass garri?"

Rider : "Make I shake una leg small, na d Keke wey dem buy foram naim be dis, na jux windscreen, and small maintenance I do, when I buy d Keke from d senior sister for tashere money, base on say dem know me, as I dey so na 5 Keke I get for dis road."
Right Passenger : "Na becos, he get pipo wey get small thing naim makam dey misbehave anyhow"

Middle Passenger : Pipo or know pipo, na laziness or foolishness, nor be about Pipo. Mama, What about you, Every time wey I dey see you for market, I dey get hope. As your children dey abroad, and your daughter wey marry LGA chairman for Patani dey try for you, you still dey hustle on your own"

Mama Passenger : (she smiled,) "Thank you Rosie, Dis na one of the reason, wey I dey come dis market, apart from say make I nor dey idle, na also to encourage young women, especially dose wey lose their husband early like me for early age wey children still small."

"My husband die when my last child na jux 1 year and 6 months, d small things wen e get, family carry everything, wetin I go do, nobody to help, I start dis fish market, and I serious put. If I make excuse, who for train my children, maybe dem for become agberoes misbehaving upandan, nor worry Rosie, you hear wetin dis Keke Man tuk, say na 5 Keke e get for the road? Nor be so e take start, but anything wey persin dey do, wey e serious put must work."

Rider : "Mama, na true, e nor first easy for me, but today, I don open big store for my wife, wahala don dey less"

Mama : "I dey see how only you dey hustle to train your children go school, since deir Papa die, whether sun or rain, you nor get excuse not to come market, your business go grow in Jesus name"

We all said Amen in unison, the Keke was getting emotional, and then I realized I have passed my stop.

Me : "Driver stop, stop, I don pass where I dey go"

And you can guess it, everyone started laughing.
#mykekediaries

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