Thursday, 6 April 2017

The Lie Called Love.

Looking so deep into your eyes
Filled with such adoration,
I still feel that familiar twinge
Telling me that’s probably
The best I can hope for.
Listening to you talk
All about how your day went,
You saw the smile but failed to notice
The glint of sadness that threatened
To spill out – to unman me!
For the adoration I saw,
Was that of one who
Attached nothing, opening up
To everything, yet leaving no space
For something to come forth.
The warmth in your voice
Just telling everyone within earshot
That this young man with you
Was no one to you –
Maybe someone,
Just not the one.

So I went on a quest –
Oh, fear not, just within myself,
And the books of which you
Would tease me of burying myself in.
I searched –
And yet, the more I thought I found,
The more I had to look.
What was I looking for?
You might have asked
Had you known of the search.
But I could not let you in;
Not without revealing it all!
For you see, while you thought
Of me as just a friend,
I thought of you and I –
To a much better end.

My heart would skip beats
When your name was mentioned
My tongue got dry
Like a room air-conditioned
All at the sight and sound of you.
The quest
Was one of discovery;
To know
What was this that I felt.
I learnt it was called love,
And that it was a beautiful feeling.
I laughed, and then I cried
And then with my head down low,
And my heart so heavy,
I had to ask –
Does something beautiful
Take away all colour when it’s gone?
If this is love,
Then why does it stir up loneliness?
If this is love,
Then I’m surely in a cruel place.
“No”, they said,
Love is good, love is bright
Love lights you up when it’s night.
Love makes you soar, and so long as
You’re with the one you love,
You can roar!

Were all they told me
Were all they fed me.
Oh, yes
Love indeed was all they said it was –
And more.
For how could I explain
The pain it took to gain
The drops of rain,which had,
Until now, lain in their cairn,
Deep down in the plains of my core?
They did not tell me it would also
Carry its own troubles
They never told me that love could
Also destroy me.
I fell blindly
And now, I do not even have
The luxury of your hands
To guide me back up,
As you now belong to someone else.

So now, as I gaze upon you
And listen to your words,
I feel that familiar twinge
And I smile;
I’ll keep loving you…
But only for a while.



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